Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.