Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.