shag your mom

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I really like taking shits.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.