Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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shag your mom

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.