when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

when you bleed you suck your own blood

When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

Seperate your food on you dinner plate

hallo

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

I put salt on buttered toast...

I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

Reading the terms of service :O....

almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.