masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.