fap

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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im going to rape that girl

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Dancing while hoovering

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.