When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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Breathe.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.