always check thde back seat before starting the car

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Think about breathing...

Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.