use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.