Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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sit in the shower

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.