I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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I really like taking shits.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.