do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.