You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Fart at home

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.