I masturbate with sandpaper

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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fap

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.