Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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jack off

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.