I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.