Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.