Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.