tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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Made after doomsday plans

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.