I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.