Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.