I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.