When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.