im going to RAPEEEE that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

thumb_up thumb_down +78

being super bored at shool

thumb_up thumb_down -37

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.