Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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I sleep in the nude.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.