I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Sometimes I toot.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.