Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Made after doomsday plans

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Having gay sex

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.