daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Tear up when I poop

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.