When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.