give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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wonder who wrote these things

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.