like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I eat ass

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.