When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.