Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Pee in the shower.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.