When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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On true/false sections of tests, I get paranoid if there are not the same amount of trues and falses.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.