- Things You Think Only You Do

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.