I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -78

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.