A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

thumb_up thumb_down +53

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

thumb_up thumb_down -19

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

thumb_up thumb_down -115

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.