....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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jack off

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.