eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Breathe.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.