I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.