Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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check shower for murder then pee

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.