stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.