KICK THE CAN

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.