....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

jack off

Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.