Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.