Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.