when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.