When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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shag your mom

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.