Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.