When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.