SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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R A P E Children

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.