I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.