I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.