When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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??2????????????????????

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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penis

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I click my teeth to music

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.