fart

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Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.