When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.