I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Play Minecraft

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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shag your mom

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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Go outside and pee.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.