sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Pee in the shower

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.