Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.