I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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look at bins as i walk past them

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I never feel bored

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.