It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.