I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.