when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.