Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.