Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I never feel bored

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Having gay sex

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.