I masturbate with sandpaper

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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fap

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Picking my nose.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.