When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.