Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I **** with no hands.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.