pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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My parents are annoying.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.