I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Boinked my neighbor

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.