After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.