when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Boinked my neighbor

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.