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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I piss in the bed every night

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.