sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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I think about other women when having sex

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.