When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Sometimes I toot.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.