I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Poo really loud

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Being fat

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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speak proper english

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.