- Things You Think Only You Do

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.